A Point Less Than Nothing

Why did you go?

I am still here,

Still going,

Still breathing,

Still surviving.

But the place

Where you were yesterday,

That warm, comfortable space beside me

Where you always stood,

Has turned cold.

An empty shadow has replaced you.

Your bright smile;

The curve of your nose;

The way your eyes crinkle at the corners

When you’re smiling at my stupid jokes;

Your virtues,

Your faults;

All of it replaced by empty space.

A black hole.

A singularity.

A point less than nothing.

Leaving me alone.

Alone with only the dark of the crying sky

And the dark of my thoughts

For company.

So,

Why did you go?

I want to be angry.

I want to scream and cry

And let go of every damnable shred of agony

That sets my heart

Whirling.

Scintillating

With the broken, burning,

Shredding, screaming light

Of a quasar

Tearing up my very soul.

But I can’t.

I hurt too much;

Everything hurts too much.

So instead I cry

Into my pillow at night,

Alone in my room,

Where no one else can see me.

I cry for you.

For your absence;

For the times

When I forget that you’re gone

And turn to tell you something,

Only to realize you’re not there.

I cry for you

Because every time I close my eyes

I see your face,

Bright and smiling at me,

Like you were never gone.

Like you’re still here beside me.

And it hurts with the pain

Of a thousand stars

Going supernova.

So,

I just have to ask,

For the sake

Of my sanity.

For the sake

Of my broken heart.

Why did you go?

#poetry #maddiesafford #rouge #rougemagazine